Singer(s): Male + harmony

Ready for Mix

@1980’s – in one of my writing moods, and the song’s title phrase came to me. Had a lot of fun writing this one.

If you’ve ever swore, you know the score
Let me give you a little advice
You may win the battle, you may lose the war
You never kick a dead dog twice

If someone’s trying to hurt you
You don’t tell them motherf*** damn
Just give them a smile and tell them “Hey!
Just stick this up your yam!”, oh

(CHORUS)
Up your nose with a rubber hose
And a great big bottle of glue
May a pigeon rain down on your terrain
May a dog shine on your shoe

May you hear a joke while drinking coke
And laugh right up your snoot
Oh, up your nose with a rubber hose
And up your umpah too.

If you’ve ever survived working nine to five
Tryin to get the job done
And seems at work your boss is such a jerk
And it seems like you’re the only one

So you wake up late one morning past 8
And fly to get there in time
It’s when he yells “You’re late, it’s 9:01!”
That the boiling just gets out of line

Chorus

Instrumental Break

So next time somebody tries to give you the shaft
You’ll know a few words to say
Besides those cusses that keep hanging around
That you hear from day to day

The next time somebody steps on your toes
Just wish them a fine adieu
And give them just this little gift
Addressed from me to you

Chorus

Oh, up your nose with a rubber hose, and up your big ass too!